one fine day
2004-01-22

One day you wake up and realize that all you feel is utter contempt for your life and the actors in it.

You are completely certain that life has shortchanged you somehow, and that your life is somewhere else, lived by someone else.
This hatred, this anger consumes you until you are nothing more but a skeleton that lives and breathes in a self-renewing cycle of despair and disgust. That cold, hard lump in your ribcage no longer beats with passion; it had never beaten to anything but the devil�s rhythm.

Hate, denial and envy are the only things that keep you afloat, and you know once you let go of these demons, you will drown in your own despair.

You know that if you do not denounce this raging beast you will be consumed by its hunger. But you want to be eaten, to be swallowed whole by this monster called Fury, to be baptized in its cleansing hate.

You want to be denied the things you want, just so you can take them away by force, and watch your misery grow tenfold.

You know that you are not �essentially� good; to sin is your essence, and your heart is willing to murder in cold blood.

Hate is the only thing that keeps you alive.