pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones
2004-02-13

Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe

Believe in me
Help me believe in anything cause
I want to be someone who believes

- Counting Crows, Mr. Jones


I am stuck in the 90s groove.
It�s Friday afternoon and I�m screaming along with the Counting Crows, �Stare at the beautiful women "She's looking at you. I don't think so. She's looking at me."�

I feel reckless today. I feel like pissing you off. I feel like jumping off of a ledge just for the heck of it. I feel like painting my hair orange.

My, aren�t I full of feelings today.

Things you might not know about me:

1. I hate underwear. All forms of underwear. I believe they are instruments of a worldwide conspiracy to keep women uncomfortable throughout their lives. Not.

2. I love stories about gay men. The more touchy feely the better. Philadelphia is a fave.

3. I get uncomfortable watching women get it on onscreen, but I don�t flinch when a guy gets it in the ass.

4. I love wearing kitten heels with ugly old t-shirts and tight jeans.

5. I smell of Lolita Lempicka.

6. I can speak bad French.

7. I smoke occasionally. Sometimes J and I would share a cig in an act of perverted love just for the shock value.

8. I once had a puppy with a broken leg.

9. I made a teacher cry at 14 and I have yet to apologize.

10. I wore the tudung once. Heck, I used to want to be an ustazah! Waahahaha. Talk about impossible aspirations.

11. I hold grudges. Dem bitches out there who crossed me gonna get it one day.

12. I think I need psychiatric help but what the hell, let�s keep it all inside why don�t we?

13. I hate children. I once fantasized about pushing one down an escalator because it was screaming its head off and annoying me tremendously. Didn�t do it because its mother came along and I missed the chance.

14. I hate husbands.

15. I hate wives.

16. I am anti-marriage, pro-choice, pro-education, pro-capitalism, pro-hedonism, pro-faith but anti-religion.

17. I am a Mahathirist. Down with Keadilan and its pseudo-democratic ideologies!

18. I prefer poetry in Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Indonesia. I love English prose.

19. I cook a mean nasi minyak. HAHAHA.

Yeah.

Since tomorrow�s the 14th and Monday�s a holiday, Mr. J is going to take me to Bermuda and we�d make sweet love on its virgin sands.

Yeah right.

Kami budak miskin.

Oh yeah, to those of you who�ve written me emails regarding the �violent� tone of "Kita Jumpa di Ranjang", all I can say is, I meant for it to be vicious. I meant for it to be all about power and overpowering. Hey, sex isn�t just love and spooning and cuddling. It�s about the power scales in a relationship. It�s all about control, man.

Wah I sound like an S&M enthusiast.

Happy Valentine�s Day and please, try to keep it down. The walls ain�t that thick.